Giving attention to your family at the right times

Posted on Nov 17, 2011 in Family

Giving attention to my family in ministryIf your spouse and kids were completely honest with you, would they say:

“Our biggest struggle is the resentment we feel when you’re seemingly showing others more attention than us?”

No one in ministry thinks to themselves, “Ya know, I prefer to build resentment in my family while serving others.”

Usually one of two things happen.

One, we start down a slow process of one small step at a time in the wrong direction until one day we look up and wonder, “How did we get here?”

Or two, we think we’re doing great with the time we’re investing into our family, but our family feels otherwise, usually because we’re investing our time into the wrong things with them. Maybe we look at the clock and think, “Wow, I spent 5 hours at home today with the kids! Awesome! They must really feel loved!” when really all your little girl wanted was for you to show up at her soccer game.

I’ve told the story before, so I won’t repeat it again, but I personally know how this feels growing up as a pastor’s kid. Thankfully, when I confronted my dad during my senior year of high school, he immediately had someone else take over the Bible study and started coming to all my wrestling matches. He did the same for my brothers and sisters after that. He honestly just had no idea how I felt. As far as he was concerned, he worked from the church office in our home and spent many hours with us every day. We had plenty of attention, just not always when it was important to us.

Don’t assume the hours you invest into your family are always invested at the right times. Ask them.

QUESTION: What are some of the best times your family has spent together? What do each of those experiences have in common? How can you replicate it often?

About the author,

Tim is a dad who is imperfectly pursuing his wife and children while ultimately trying to pursue the Lord's vision for his family. He's written a few books and dabbles in online video, mostly to support his primary ministry at home.

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